Poughkeepsie, NY — I didn’t ask for much this Christmas. All I really wanted was a coffee maker that turned into a robot. It wasn’t until my Black and Decker automatic drip of five years wouldn’t make the hopeful gurgle this morning that makes my day oh-so special, that I remembered my Christmas wish. So instead, I drove the hour commute to work with my empty red mug, wishing the rest of the cars off the road so I could get to the bitter Maxwell House blend just a little bit faster.
This past holiday season, chock-full of ads and commercial propaganda, the Tassimo Brewbot caught my attention like a four car pileup on I-84. It combined two of my favorite things, my absolute addicted need for a cup of coffee in the morning and robots. Cute, endearing and graceful in a techno kind of way, I created a life where Mr. Tassimo and I could be together. Every morning I would awake to his darling monotone “What can I get for you?” as he poured me a cup of hazelnut brew filled to the top with skim milk- just the way I like it. I fantasized that we do everything together, and created a movie montage in my head, complete with a Doobie Brothers soundtrack. We would go shopping together and as I stood on my tippy-toes to get the size I needed off the top rack, his alluring computerized voice would approach me “What can I get for you?” Coming home from a long day at work, I’d open up the fridge, and there he’d be “W-w-what can I get for you?”
“Oh goodness, well I guess I’ll have some of that leftover risotto, and you’ll nuke it too? Oh BrewBot you’re too good to me.” We’d dance to Basshunter, I’d change his batteries and he would give me a pedicure. And all night long he’d patrol the kitchen counters, fending off mice RoboCop style. On snowy days we’d curl up on the couch and watch Wall-E and Batteries Not Included as a little puff of steam emerged from his adoring mechanical arms.
His non-existence hit me like a bad break up. How could I keep on living without Mr. Tassimo by my side? The life I had planned with him was shot down like a flying albatross.
Who needs a Coffee-making-robot anyways? I ask myself as I clutch a dirty spoon filled with used coffee grounds over the gas flame of the stove, his little voice still ringing in my head.
- felicenavidad99
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felicenavidad99
All I can say, is you need a good dog! Buckwheat is available with all his bad habits, he would keep you busy for days!!