30 Days Later

Albany, NY — It’s been 30 days since I broke my ankle.

Long story short, I jumped off my uncles boat into shallow water, twisted my legs, sat down and snapped my fibula and tibia bones slightly above the ankle. Imagine laying two bread sticks on top of one another in the shape of an X. Then apply pressure until the top stick snaps. That’s what I did to myself.

As I crawled around to the back of the boat, my mind raced. I was shocked that I broke something. Then came the obscenities. I thought about money–of all things to think about while face down in salty water–starting graduate school, walking, ruining everyone’s weekend, my girlfriend and feeling embarrassed as hell. Nobody likes to be that person who gets hurt and hauled to the hospital on a day that’s supposed to be relaxing.

When we got to shore, I was rushed to  Nassau University Medical Center in so much pain I can’t put it into words. Here’s how I spent my three day visit:

• Day 1:  Held my ankle together as I checked into the ER. Got jacked up on morphine.
• Day 2: Surgery that put a metal plate in my leg with two screws holding my bones together.
• Day 3: Released into the wild with a huge white cast that weighed more than both my legs put together.

In the end, I just feel lucky. We all hear about those freak accidents with people getting hurt, paralyzed or even killed when they jump into unknown waters.  Thank God I wasn’t stupid enough to jump head first.

Here are some highlights from my life with crutches:

• Bought some plastic bags and duck-tape so I can protect the cast in the shower.
• Used the rubber top end of the crutch to get the TV remote that bounced away from the couch.
• Cooked and carried food using one crutch while holding the other one under my armpit.
• Mastered the “side step” or the “crab walk”  to get around obstacles.
• Have maintained my sanity by keeping the crutches close to the bed to fight off the zombies.

- scruff87